Wednesday, February 23, 2005

In Which the Author, Out of Boredom or Desperation, Writes a Letter in the Voice of Lazlo Toth

Dear Sir:

Yesterday I went to the Disney-Land, the one in Anaheim. It costs $39.99 to get in (a rip!) but all the rides are free. I asked the lady at the turnstyle how much it costs if I didn't go on the rides. She said it still costs $39.99!

Why should I PAY for rides I don't want to ride? I don't want to ride the stupid Magic Mountain but I have to PAY for it. It's not fair! All I wanted was to get in the teacup and sing "It's a Small World!" I don't get it. Should other people PAY for all the items at my Mac's place when all they want is an EggMcMuffin and Big Mac? No! Toth knows! (I have seen at least two Disney movies (Pinoccio, Bugs Bunny) so I should at least get a discount.)

Also, why do some people get Disney-WORLD and I only get Disney-LAND? They get a whole WORLD and I get just a lousy LAND!

Not Toth, but close

But you aren't with Disney, so that's OK. Did you really commit a fraud, Mr. Book? I have an idea when I read your web thing. Why don't you go to Disney-Land and write about it? If you have to pay for stupid rides, you get to talk to the cartoon characters too, right? I bet you can get some good info from Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse. They have worked at Disney-Land forever and live there. They can tell you why you have to pay for the stupid rides you don't want to ride. They know why Mickey and Minney never had any baby mice! They know why Snow White had black hair when everybody knows she was a blonde! Then you can write about it! You like to complain a lot so this would be right up your alley. You can make a million dollars exposing this! It's the American Way!

You don't have to pay me anything, but you could maybe get a pass for Disney-WORLD or some hamburgers.

Bravo, bookfraud! Together I know we can do it!


Lazlo Toth

P.S. why are you "book fraud"? did you steal a book? Was it "Yes I Can" By Sammy Davis Jr.? Worth stealing! The best!!!