Monday, March 28, 2005

A Man for All Seasons, Songs, and Drugs

Back in the mid-1990s, I ended up behind the microphone doing stand-up for a couple of nights (don't ask). Part of my act consisted of putting on fake sideburns, sunglasses, and reading Elvis Haiku.

You didn't know that Elvis wrote haiku, even from the grave? Elvis was an extremely messed up, brilliant man. He could do it all.

Inspired by tblue and his sudden affection for haiku (I highly recommend you sample his fine work), I dug up these untitled gems from lo these many years ago, some great, some lame, but all worthy of the King.

feeling so happy
wearing my rhinestone jumpsuit
met Richard Nixon

it's hot in Vegas
took blue pills before the show
I passed out on stage

Nixon was impressed

When I found out who
had taken my daughter's hand
I killed the fucker

nobody knows that
inside Sun Studio, I
took a dump all night

codeine, dilaudid,
demerol, uppers, quaaludes,
fried-lard sandwiches

had these funny thoughts
they said it was Oedipal
but I want my mom

Dr. Nick would not
unlock the trailer of drugs
karate kick hurt

I shot my TVs
Box of Ex-Lax for dinner
Col. Tom was there

I had been divorced
put a hit on Pricilla
watched "Gidget" instead

my dead twin brother
was buried in Tupelo
amphetamines, sure

singing "Burning Love"
totally felt the music
my dick was on fire

on August 16
I went like a King should go
sitting on the throne

Thank ya very much. Elvis has left the building.